I started mediation because of the disturbed relationship whit my supervisor, as the company doctor advised. Going there gave me a lot of stress, even if it was just a first meeting with the mediator, to tell my story.

My stamina had improved, but my mental condition hadn’t. I still had trouble concentrating and reading. Sporting had influenced my healing process positively, but the mental healing hadn’t started yet. The company doctor told me, I could take all the time I needed to tell my story to the mediator and it was allowed to shorten moments or add moments if I couldn’t concentrate anymore.

The same week I had the meditation, my left calf started to hurt more. I thought it would be the stress I got from work because I needed to cope with these problems now. Stress was pointed out to me by my doctors several times now, that’s why I made that connection. Besides I was taking my meds to avoid my blood from clotting. So in my mind, nothing could be wrong in the medical area.

During that week my sports activities when worse by the day. At the end of the week, the pain had gained so much I wasn’t able to walk, bike, or drive a car. Because I needed to get back to The Hague from Capelle aan den Ijssel, I started on my bike to get back. At first, sitting on the saddle and pushing myself with my good leg. After I while I managed to bike at a plodding speed. It took me hours to get home and many stops. Almost at home, I fell off my bike; shopping people helped me up again.

Written by


DAPHNE IN STOCKINGS is a writer with a blog telling her story about surviving blood clots, living with FVL, blood thinners, and stockings. And coping with Covid-19 twice in 2020. She's telling her story about building resilience in a physical and mental struggle to heal.